McCain Passed ME Over For Sarah Palin???
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When John McCain announced his running mate would be the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin, I was absolutely mortified. No, make that crushed. Chin-dragging-the-ground, pull-the-covers-over-my-head and shut-the-world-out crushed!
Why oh why didn't he pick me, I wailed!
I'm a nobody! I look great in a skirt! I can read lines from a Tele-Prompter!
Community organizing?
I've done community organizing....
Three neighbors and I organized our town's first ever, city-wide Halloween parade. In three weeks! Not some cheesy parade around the neighborhood, mind you, but the Real Deal - down Main Street, floats and marching bands, scout troops (Boy and Girl), state legislators and other officials in convertibles, a fire truck bringing up the rear with firemen tossing candy to the kiddies, and afterwards a party to award prizes for Best Costume and such. Prizes we gathered from local merchants. The parade became an annual event, for heavens sake! How could McCain possibly have missed that?
Executive experience? I have executive experience....
Granted, I only ran the party's state headquarters for two months while a new director was being chosen, but that's almost as long as Ms. Palin has been governor, right? Not to mention my secretary and I arranged every detail of that year's three-day Fall Convention, right down to making the centerpieces for all the banquet tables.
Alright, so I can't field dress a moose, or any other animal for that matter due to a pathological aversion to seeing the insides of any living (or recently breathing) thing.
But can Ms. Palin do a protocol-perfect seating chart on the fly for a dinner for several hundred people that begins in 90 minutes - in between showering and dressing for that dinner? Moi can.
And my Foreign Policy credentials are hands down better than hers . Living in Kansas, of course I can't see Russia from my backyard, silly! Only our pool...which might as well be the Bering Strait if you're a 3-year-old and jump in before Mom gets the water wings on.
But....are you ready?...my ex-husband is part Russian! When the Bolsheviks took over, his great-grandparents left Vladivostok and fled to San Francisco by way of Harbin, China. I've seen photos, so I can tell you Vladivostok, a seaport on the eastern end of Russia, is very much like San Francisco, only colder. Both Valerian and Nadejda were children of well-to-do merchants, hence the need to flee to avoid being butchered by the peasants. But no trudging across hundreds of miles of snow and frozen tundra a la Doctor Zhivago for these two. Nosirree. When it was time to get out of Dodge, they boarded a rather plush excursion train to Harbin, on the spur line built many years before the Revolution for the convenience of Vlad's upper classes, and checked into Harbin's version of the Ritz, which was originally built for the comfort of visiting Europeans, but at that time catered exclusively to ex-Vlads.
But enough of my intimate knowledge of Russia (and China) and a little more on my foreign policy expertise. I've had a passport since 2003! I saw Ireland from only 20,000 feet up as the plane began the descent to Heathrow! I stood outside the gates to Downing Street and actually saw the door to No. 10! And I sat on a bench in Parliament Square while Parliament was in session!
I can also count to 9 in Spanish! I read the BBC News every morning! I can say the F-word in Italian! I've eaten in a French restaurant! One of my grandmothers was Swedish! And thanks to our own Robie2, I know people in Iceland! (Robie, btw, has had visitors in her home from Iceland and France and Denmark and I forget all where else, but she too was passed over for the VP spot. ??)
Lastly, just like Ms. Palin, I'm the mother of a member of the U.S. armed forces. My middle daughter is a Chief Petty Officer in the Navy, just returned from a 6-month cruise on an aircraft carrier. (Picture Mom, hand on heart, waving flag here.) Religion? My eldest daughter married a minister! Energy and environment? My youngest daughter has a PhD in Environmental Engineering !
A regular bunch of dream photo ops we would've been...completely ignored for a card-carrying member of the NRA with long legs and high cheekbones.
Deep sigh.
Oh wait!
Maybe...just maybe ...I was passed over because I'm a Democrat.
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Ahhh JamaGenee I think your qualifications are perfect and I just don't understand that McCain crowd--ROTFL You even have a Navy connection< see me singing Anchors Aweigh> On top of that your children are one quarter Russian which is lots better than being able to see Russia from your front porch. You beat me out cold, but it was nice of you to mention me as possible competition. Just for that you get a big thumbs up :-) Kansas rules!!!!!!!
Well I ran a Girl Scout troop successfully for 8 years, with at laeast 35 girls at any one time. Talk about having to plan, be a diplomat with the parents, and deal with foriegners whose kids knew what I was talking about but they didn't. This took a lot of negotiating, financial planning, deffusing fights and making sure the girls got a good education on everyday survival techniques. Plus my family comes from Russia so I should get some brownie points for that alone! I may not know how to dress a moose, but I sure can dress up an all American turkey dinner for Thanksgiving. Let's face it, a turkey is much more American than a moose! So don't feel bad, I got passed up too. Must have been all those petitions I signed for human rights, restoring our Constitution and impeaching everyone in Washingto if I had to guess. It certainly wasn't my credentials!
lol! I was upset myself. Can't believe I was overlooked. I can't see Russia either but I have eaten at the finest Russian restaurant in Manhattan. And I can count to 14 in spanish. So many fine American women were overlooked in the selection process! And they expect our vote?!? :)
JamaGenee.
Love it.
But you lack her main qualification: SHE'S FILLED WITH HATE, AND YOU OBVIOUSLY AREN'T.
It was a pleasure to read your piece. I didn't know there people like you in Kansas. Just Kidding! Just Kidding!
Yeah, me too! I married a Canadian, so our marriage is filled with foreign policies (and peace accords). I'm a cub scout leader too (like Sheryl above) and regularly negotiate, play a diplomat and more. While I can't dress a moose, I have to dress 4 young children every day. They certainly give the term "wildlife" new meaning. Oh, and I love Russian salad dressing. Yum. *sigh* maybe in 2012.
Always knew you SHOUD be in charge really proud to know you
Me too JamaGenee. I was disappointed I wasn't considered as his foreign policy advisor. After all, I am foreign.
It's obvious. You organised a HALLOWEEN parade. You are clearly a Satanist and will be among the first against the wall when the Rapture comes. Otherwise, you'd have been picked for sure.
JamaGenee, I am still laughing! So very real and funny that is going to be cruel for my neighbours due to my loud giggle. I loved your foreign politics expertize, which is far more extensive, that Sarah Palin's and also your community organizing skills, which had been successfully proven in Halloween parade. You are more than proficient in Europe's diplomatic affairs, because you've already got a close look to Downing street 10 doors (Buckingham Palace is not fashionable any more, these days). Maybe, I would only advise you to get into a fierce fight with flies and spiders around your house next weekend, and you could also buy some rat and mice poison, to show to John McCain and to Republican authorities that you don't think twice, when making decision of killing innocent wild animals, as Sarah Palin kills wolfs, bears and other wild animals. She also pays the killer about $150 per killed animal from the Alaska's budget, but you should not follow her deeds, to look much more budget friendly than Sarah Palin was.
Brilliant ! :)
It is difficult to understand your disappointment. Don't understand why anyone would want a job leading to POTUS.
That said, I must admit that I'd sure like to be an ex-President. All those goodies with no responsibilities!
The problem with all of you is this and it completely disqualifies you: YOU ARE INTELLIGENT, AND YOU DON'T LIE EVERYTIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
sorry, that means you are so unelectable, you couldn't get a smell. sniffle.
LOVED THIS JAMAGENE you did great!!
Look towards being Mitt Romney's running mate in 2012. Dreams can come true. ANYONE can be a political shill.
You Go, Girl! I nominate Jamagene. You covered the humorous, let me cover the serious. What if she actually became president? If I had any doubts about McCain, his selection sure clearly showed me a lot about his decision-making abilities.
This is a GREAT hub--brilliant-woven piece of writing.
You're DEFINITELY more qualified to be McCain's Vice President than McPalin is, JamaGenee...except as mariesue nailed it: you're intelligent but you don't lie every time you open your mouth. Other disqualifications for you were you are not a hypocrite, self-serving, spiteful, devoid of morals and decency for your fellow man and country and, as I repeat, seconding what mariesue said, YOU DO NOT LIE EVERY TIME YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH.
I stumbled here, but YOU are my new hero! This is the best page I think I've ever seen lol.....
best of luck to you!
On the eve of the election, reading this joyous piece and the wonderful humorous commentary, lifts my spirits, so worn down by all the nasty drivel of the last several weeks. Thanks loads!!!!
If it makes you feel any better, I gave you some pretty serious consideration during my campaign.
ROFL! This is priceless! Priceless I say! :) Ok, you absolutely have my vote now that I know your ex-husband is part Russian AND you have a passport. :D It doesn't get any more serious than that right there. ;)
LOL @ B.T.! :D
That was absolutely fantastic!
you are very, very funny!
G'day JamaGenee I am on an advance head hunting party for the next Prime Minister of Australia. Now I hear tell that you can wear a skirt so therefore you are probably overqualified but never mind . Now if you can say the F word in Strine you are a shoe in. Would you be interested in the position now that you will not be President?
Did I tell you that I thought this hub is very funny and is a well written piece of literature. No I didn't think I did ;-[)
Yeah Mate I saw you playing around with my Hubs so I thought I would sneak over here and play with yours. Hubs that is!
btw I really do think you have nice Hubs. ;-[)
How the heck is Palin a trickster?
Happy Anniversary, friend. You've been 365 days on HubPages, making them better, funnier, smarter. Thought I'd read one of your hubs I hadn't got to yet - and this was a damned good choice. You are a wickedly witty, warm, wise, and wonderful woman! (Would you whisper to me how to say the F word in Italian, please?)
oh how i wish i had read this earlier -- but oh how glad i am to have finally read it -- this is beyond superb; it is inspired. Truly inspired. and so funny that i can hardly type.
I'm with MindField and Teresa -- this is wickedly funny, and inspired.
All I can say is it's a damned good thing McCain didn't pick you over Sarah Palin. He probably would have won!
Happy 1 year on HP. That's way cool. MM
Happy Hub year JamaGenee! I know why McCain never picked you. Did you forget to send him a picture of you in a bathing suit wearing high heels. I also think it was a requirement that you were not allowed to read any news magazines if you were to be VP at least that is what I got out of the Palin interview with Katie Couric.
Oh Well, You would not have wanted the job anyway all she would have got to do would have been to stand around in her bathing suit and high heels and shoot at any defensless animal that happened to walk by.:-) Another excellent hub JamaGenee, I would have voted for you.
Jama,
How could you be selected when you still think that Africa is a continent! Great hub though! :)
lol - This is hilarious. Wish I had found it during election time - I was getting worried because there were a fair number of Palin is exactly what we need hubs.
I will bookmark this for 2012 - hope I don't need it :)
I'm sure right about now mccain is sorry too. better luck next time. Would you really want that job? You sound too smart for that.
JamaGenee, I agree that this is wickedly funny, though I am reading it so late that the game is over. I believe that you weren't chosen due to the fact that you obviously (or you would have mentioned it) do not look enough like Tina Fey though you both have fabulous skill in writing humor.
JamaGenee, a little late in the day to read this but it is still funny - you probably were not chozen because maybe you read the occasional newspaper or magazine and you don't have a knocked up daughter and you don't believe that God created the world 5,000 years ago. Oh, I forgot. You're a Democrat. (never mind)
JamaGenee, love the hub. You're writing is clever and witty. I truly enjoyed this one. I have to agree, how John McCain picked Palin over you remains a mystery!
Be well.
You actually saw Ireland??? Then what chance do I have for any kind of recognition here. My life is wrecked. I shall take me to a nunnery (if they will have me). I cannot take any more of this crashing humiliation so I shall stop reading your hubs for a while, to enable me to recuperate.
You are wonderful! :-)
I know, but there are different levels of wonderful and I cannot reach your dizzy heights! :-))
What an amazingly humorous Hub. Wish I had started reading your Hubs earlier. If I had been in John McCain's shoes, I would certainly have chosen you as my First Mate!
My oh my. Your ability to tell the story and keep 'em laughing (I certainly did!) from start to finish is unequalled. You could easily be a political satirist. Well, in fact - you ARE one!
I've been missing you of late, though. Are you ok?
what a great tuesday morning read! thanks for the laughs and golly gee, maybe it's time for a sequel, seeing she is quite busy with her speaking engagements. I don't know how McCain passed over you... shaking head in bewilderment.
You did not mention leggs, Sarah's Palin best qualification, so let us know about yours. As for Sarah's I hope it will help her get out of the political arena
De Greek sent me here and I am still laughing my ass off. Remember one thing, unless you can outdo the character who portrays her on SNL then you won't have a chance. hah also as you mentioned, you have to be able to shoot and dress any critter that crosses your path, John McCain would be a good start. hah. Kidding apart, great hub, you had this saddlerider almost wetting his chaps:0)))))
I was also sent here by De Greek, and I'm glad I was. We could use a bit of humor right now, and your's is just right. Thanks.
Thanks to De Greek, I, too, was sent here -- and I LOVED this hub! I am going to start following you.
Hey, I once organized a big Halloween carnival, along with several renaissance fairs! I'm eligible, too!
LOVED this hub!
I agree that you are clearly better-qualified than you-know-who. Maybe you just weren't maverick-y enough.
This is good stuff. Thanks.
L.T.
This is a brilliant hub! Read it twice. First time through I laughed and just enjoyed it so. Second time through, I laughed more, and enjoyed it more. A wonderful piece. Very talented writer. Stay close.
The reason McCain picked Palin over you, JG, is quite obvious. He'd play hell making you look like an idiot! Very enjoyable hub. Thanks for writing it. A true masterpiece that will only get better with time. :)
I'm a bit late for the party, but I just wanted to say I got quite a kick out of this hub :) You seem like a perfect Palin 2.0!
Let's see...cero, una, dos, tres, cuatro, cinco, seis, siete, ocho, nueve, diez, once, doce, trece, catorce, quince...that makes it past your and also amy jane's counting ability in Spanish!
I have killed cockroaches!
I chaired a year long (in the making) fundraiser dinner and auction for a local charity!
And get this! I have some wrinkles and gray hair! Gives the appearance of perhaps an extra dose of wisdom?
Oh...and lest I forget...I can probably read from a teleprompter like the best of them! I think that is probably the best qualification of all.
What do you think? Should I start accepting invitations to become the next VP?
Not sure I have ever laughed louder when reading a hub. How a career politician like John McCain and the Republican Party could have made such a blunder is way beyond my comprehension. Must have been far too much emphasis on the skirt factor.
Seriously, I can't believe it has taken me this long to find this hub. I will definitely be checking out more of your hubs. You are a very talented writer.
Voted up and funny (because there wasn't a hilarious option).
Gosh, JamaGenee, you do sound so much more qualified than Sarah! And the best part is that you don't take yourself so seriously! I love your sense of humor and your writing! Voted up and funny!
Hi JamaGenee...Well I have to say I am glad he passed you over because that would have meant you would have quit half way through your Hubpages career and I would not have found this awesome hub! That said (need to breathe cuz that was a long sentence)...nice job! Voting all the appropriate ups and what not...
Hey JamaGenee,
In case you have not yet heard...there is an upcoming presidential election. It is not too late to start debuting for that VP position! :))
We should know soon enough! We do seem to have a bigger crowd than normal this year who desire that spot. Of course many of them don't have a chance. So start schmoozing with the top 3 or 4 and start brushing up on your Spanish language. :))















































Rochelle Frank 3 years ago
I dunno JamaGeenee-- I think you make some very valid points here. She may habe you beat on the mosse -dressing thing, though. Anyone who can get a dress on a moose can do other hard stuff. She's got my vote-- unless you can change parties and attract the attention of the GOP.